During one of those moving videos today, one of the girls talked about the impact that one of the Baptism by the Bay videos had on her, as well as a particular photo taken during her own baptism.  Between the Tears videos and her words I was reminded that is why my heart is moved toward photography.  I want to take pictures that make a difference in someone’s life.  The ones that remind them of a truth that they know or expose them to one they’ve not yet learned. It’s such an honor to be able to pick up a camera and record such beautiful moments in people’s lives and I want to take that seriously and be responsible with that gift.

I’ve really been reminded today of the blessing it is to have each day of this thing called life and to get to experience it with the community of people that surrounds me.  Today, I am very, very thankful.

The plan started with Psalm 119, but then moved into the book of Job.  Job is a man who went through more suffering than most of us could begin to bear.  I have so many thoughts and questions surrounding these passages, but it’s also been surprisingly encouraging to read.  (Hopefully I’ll share more in-depth thoughts along these lines, but I’ll save those for a future post.)

To further participate in the reading plan, my photo group this semester has a standing assignment to create a photo that reflects what we are getting out of each week’s reading. And this week for me has centered around sorrow – seeing Job experience it, being reminded of my own experiences with it, and thinking through causes and effects of it.

I could see the shot I wanted in my mind, so I set up what lighting I could find around my house and shot self portraits to capture that sense of sorrow.  It took about an hour and countless times back and forth between playing photographer and subject, but in the end I was happy to have pushed through resistance.  Here are two of my favorite resulting images.  Do they speak sorrow to you?

I think it’s probably a combination of overcommitment and giving in to that pesky thing Pressfield calls resistance. I’m not happy about skipping out on a commitment I made, but it does provide an opportunity to remember the joy of starting over again.  So often we fail and just give up.  But if the endeavor is worth the effort to start, hopefully it’s worth the effort to start over.

This is me starting over.  Even now as I type I’m debating on the sanity of trying to post every day.  Considering that I often come home just in time to fall into bed, it’s understandable that daily postings might be overkill.  But I want to try. I want to take this opportunity to celebrate the grace to start again.  Isn’t that what we all want? To really believe we can try again?

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.
Lamentation 3:21-23

In this weekend’s message, Pastor Mark said a phrase I’ve heard him use before; “We tend to overestimate what we can do in two years and underestimate what we can do in ten.” He said this in light of vision and the timeline we tend to put on God for the ideas and plans He’s put in our hearts.  I want to have a vision and plan that is in line with God’s timing and expectations.  One that doesn’t get discouraged when things don’t happen as quickly as I’d like, but also has the staying power to believe the big things are possible.

I’ve been so encouraged and excited over the past week about what God is doing, both in me and at NCC.  And I want to continue in this renewed excitement and anticipation.  And I think it’s so great to remember what God told Habakkuk,

“Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3b

Here are a few of the photos I managed to capture.  The fish eye lens was fun to work with, but I did learn my lesson about setting my ISO to auto.  That grain you see in the latter shots is what happens when the camera thinks it’s a good idea to shoot at ISO 3200.  It’s not a failure if you learn from it, right?

And the dark object in the bottom of the last image, that would be my leg – in snow up to my thigh. At first I was taking time to pack the snow to make steps for myself.  But I soon gave that up in favor of just trudging through to get closer to my subject.

Enjoy! I’d love to see your comments and critiques.

I’ve been so thankful for this calm over the past couple of days as our area received about two feet of the white stuff.  And I’ve been reminded to be thankful for so many other things, too.  Thankful for a warm home, power that stayed on, strength to shovel – and sight to appreciate the beauty of the white blanket God so artfully laid across the area.

As a photographer, that sight extends to a desire to capture that beauty.  When the snow finally stopped falling, I grabbed my camera and my trusty rain boots and headed out just as the sun was setting over the trees (see the next post for photos).  I knew the beautiful light wasn’t going to last long and began to run through the 2 feet of snow on the streets toward the open fields at the edge of my neighborhood.

Somewhere between high-stepping through snow and almost slipping in the ice, I realized how blessed I was.  Not only was there an amazingly beautiful sight in front of me and a collection of gear in my hands to capture it, but I had a passion.  A passion that didn’t care that I was out of breath or that I could barely feel my fingers.  A passion that could not stay inside when the pink light of sunset was streaming through my windows. A passion that came back in and saw things that could be improved in my photos the next time around – and was determined to seek tools and lessons to make those improvements possible.

I feel like I have so much to learn and put into practice to be the photographer and artist I want to be.  But the joy of having and acting on that passion is like a high; like a drug you just have to have more of.

There is something addictive about doing what you know God has put in you to do. It feels good to do what is good, but when that good thing is tied to where He is leading it takes it to the next level.  I think for me that photography is tied into my purpose.  Taking a picture of a snowy field might not change the world, but it is a learning opportunity and a way to invest those talents that will hopefully prepare me for those shots that will change the world. The photo that reminds a young girl that she’s beautiful and valuable; the one that gives the world a glimpse into the life of people they have never met and helps them see how similar they really are.

What is your passion?  What are you doing to strengthen your ability to pursue it?

I challenge you to run through the hard stuff today toward that thing that God is calling you to.

I was really hesitant to give up my home and become a landlord, but then I saw a house that made me excited about the change.  It was an amazing house built in the 30’s in a great location.  Plenty of space for entertaining, a huge yard for my dog to run in, a spacious modern kitchen, and even a place for a bit of a photography studio.

Just when I’d fallen in love with the house, I got word from the owner that he’d leased it to someone else.  I was pretty disappointed.  There have been no other houses that were that nice and just what I wanted.

But then I remembered that it’s largely about perspective.  While I’m disappointed about what didn’t happen like I’d expected or hoped, I trust that there’s another place out there that will be just as great and even more perfect for me.

It’s funny when a rental house reminds you of life lessons.

This was the case for the Israelites and the man delivering this ultimatum to the ruler was Moses. But the Israelites aren’t the only ones that were probably confused & frustrated.  Moses was left wondering why God asked him to do this and why the ruler didn’t respond they way he expected. Nevertheless, God assures him that He’s heard the cries of the people and has not forgotten the covenant that He made with their ancestors.  He tells them they will be freed and that God has said:

“I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.”
Exodus 6:6b”

But remember what happened last time he told them that.  So it’s not that surprising that “they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and cruel bondage” (Exodus 6:9).

Of course, if you’ve read Exodus you know that there was in fact an amazing plan.  There were a lot more rejections from Pharaoh and many more miracles, but in the end the Israelites were finally freed by the hand of God.  Since we already know the ending it’s easy for us to read this story and think how little faith they had or how ungrateful they were being.  But when you think about what they’d been through it puts it in a different light – makes them seem a little more like one of us. I don’t know about you, but there have been many times when I couldn’t hear what God was trying to tell me because of the pain in my heart. Times when I couldn’t believe what He was saying because I was so discouraged by my circumstances.

The next time we feel that deafness from pain, frustration, and discouragement, let’s be careful to listen for that quiet voice that’s reminding us that there’s an ending we can’t see.  The one that is telling us we are loved and part of an amazing story.  Part of a story that shouts,

“I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God…”
Exodus 6:7